Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Helping Myself

I have been depressed for years.

The feeling goes away and comes back every now and then, but certain events in my life brought it back to the fore.

I can't eat, sleep, or function at work. I keep crying at random times and places, when hearing songs or listening to silence. I have bad dreams whenever I manage to doze off. I can't write my thesis (which is due in a month, by the way).

And so I decided, with much hesitation and second-guessing, to seek help.  I'm now going through counseling.

I actually wanted to keep mum about the whole thing until it's over. But since this blog is read by approximately 0 people, I don't think posting about it will matter that much to others. To me, who has always written about anything and everything, it does, however.

A part of me hopes that people directly involved in my depression will reach out to me and make me feel better.  But alas, I think it will remain wishful thinking. I will carry on, though, because there is nothing left to do. Stopping is not an option.

To you who may have stumbled upon this entry and may feel the way I'm feeling, I suggest you don't keep it in. I tried it. Didn't work. Call somebody up. If you're too iffy about talking to shrinks, then talk to people you trust the most. If you don't have one of those, then leave me a message here. I may be a complete stranger, but somebody is always better than nobody.

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