The Disadvantages of Having A Male Best Friend

1. Everyone thinks you're dating. Even the people you're actually dating.
2. "You look so good together!" comments. We look good. Period.
3. When meeting potential dates, he has to just straight up pretend he's gay coz if he doesn't, they'll ask, anyway. "Oh he's straight? But you're not gettin' jiggy? You sure he's straight?" Yes, Brian. Also, you're not getting a second date.
4. You know his mom and hence have become the unwilling conveyor of mommy reminders. "Tita says you should buy clothes that aren't black. Also sleep early."
5. Random people, like let's say a Turkish kebab vendor, suddenly think they have a say in your spousal choices. "Oh, where's your wife from? You're not married? Well, you should be." Unless you're paying for the destination wedding, no thanks.
6. When you say, "We're just friends," people complete the sentence with: "...but with benefits?" Oh I wish. I wish we had benefits. And by benefits, I mean health insurance and pension.
7. When you go out and want to meet people, one has to purposely wander away to increase both of your likelihood to succeed. It sucks because you wanna spend time with your best friend AND also maybe meet the love of your life.
8. When you casually mention that you've had sleepovers at his house, everyone gives you *that* look. Like you're both 15 and have no control over hormones.
9. Even after making a list like this, you will convince absolutely no one that you're not together.