Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Baket List

Updating this list is bittersweet because I am sure I will die alone and unloved.

1. Visit all UP campuses
           UP Diliman
           UP Baguio
           UP Los Banos
           UP Cebu
2. Watch an Up Dharma Down gig live
3. Go somewhere far, alone
4. Come up to a stranger I'm attracted to and tell him/her that I find him/her attractive
5. Design (and pay for) my dream bedroom
6. Read Pride and Prejudice in one day
7. Go on a candlelit dinner date
8. Buy my parents new wedding rings
9. Save 100k
10. Find a man who will love all of me
11. Go to a gay bar.

Apparently, the straight guys that do exist and like me, don't really love me, and they leave me anyway because my all will never be enough for anyone. I don't know why I'm even trying.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

A Foreign Feeling


First off, let me just say that Japan is a dream. I do not live in Tokyo with its streets bursting with people and color. I live in Okayama, where the skyline is consistently green and blue (now subtly changing to orange and gray as fall prepares to land). It has a city with lively businesses and warm restaurants. But it does not seem preoccupied with trying to become the next big capital. It goes about its own pace, trams shuttling people on a strict schedule still, but with the residents having the distinct air of living in a routine that they do not mind continuing. People are never late here, but they are never in a hurry, either. They just move on along. This is especially true in the inaka, Japan’s version of the rural, where the rice paddies meld with the smooth cemented roads and pockets of supermarkets and drugstores. I am smack dab in the middle of this geographic limbo. Work is from eight to four, but what you do after is entirely up to you, the energy you have left, and the amount of trees you are willing to drive by in order to get somewhere.

Every morning, I wake up here in a daze of disbelief. It is not the kind of disbelief where I have to slap myself to ascertain reality, not the kind of disbelief where I jump up and down my worn yellow sofa bed at the sheer blessedness of being here. It is the kind where I half-expect to hear my dorm mates’ faint snores before I open my eyes or feel the toasty heat of sunlight on my legs from the window above my bed in my parents’ house. I absentmindedly tell myself, every morning, “You are not home.” And this unintentional mantra, I suppose, has dictated what I have been and am still feeling about being in this unfamiliar land.

 For others, it may seem grim that I do not seem unequivocally ecstatic to be living in a first world country when my third world origins simply pale in comparison (even by the quality of tap water alone). I hear their curious voices ask if there is anything wrong with my apartment, colleagues, students, or me, because surely, I should acknowledge the absolute good fortune of being one of the chosen ones. But then, do I really need to be that thrilled to appreciate this new world? I think the quiet calm of discovering who I am in the midst of work, travel, and nothing-doing coats my Japanese experience in a fuzzy glow, a foreign feeling, that will linger in my heart long after I leave.

 *This article was submitted for the JET Programme Voices column. Results pending.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Revival of the Fittest

So I’m going to revive this blog by saying that I want to revive my other blog (the one on fashion, which I haven’t updated in years yet coincidentally, gets more hits than this one. Like what). I have been shopping constantly lately (despite the fact that I can't even feed myself three times a day), and although I’m pretty sure I will regret this in the very near future, I want to share my hauls with other cheap queens who would only wear H&M if it was an overrun.

And there’s this, too:

1. Visit all UP campuses
           UP Diliman
           UP Baguio
           UP Los Banos
           UP Cebu
2. Watch an Up Dharma Down gig live
3. Go somewhere far, alone
4. Come up to a stranger I'm attracted to and tell him/her that I find him/her attractive
5. Design (and pay for) my dream bedroom
6. Read Pride and Prejudice in one day
7. Go on a candlelit dinner date
8. Buy my parents new wedding rings
9. Save 100k
10. Find a man who will love all of me
11. Go to a gay bar.


Apparently, straight guys still exist. And most importantly, I can still get one to like me.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Nothing is Too Late

"Hi jaja your existence gives me hope for the human race <3"

Roughly a year ago, I was struggling with depression. Every day, I thought about killing myself. I never would have imagined that someone would ever say these words to me. It goes to show that no matter how useless you feel, there is someone out there who thinks the world is better because you decided to wake up one more time.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Updated Updated Bucket List

1. Visit all UP campuses
           UP Diliman
           UP Baguio
           UP Los Banos
2. Watch an Up Dharma Down gig live
3. Go somewhere far, alone
4. Come up to a stranger I'm attracted to and tell him/her that I find him/her attractive
5. Design (and pay for) my dream bedroom
6. Read Pride and Prejudice in one day
7. Go on a candlelit dinner date
8. Buy my parents new wedding rings
9. Save 100k
10. Find a man who will love all of me
11. Go to a gay bar.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

December 2014 Wishlists

December Wishlists a.k.a. Hi Mom and Dad, I love you.

The Idealistic Wishlist:

1. A mini sewing machine
2. A camera
3. A ticket to Japan
4. A ticket to Australia
5. My PhD diploma

The Realistic Wishlist:

1. Three cans of Pringles
2. Two new blazers
3. Adidas sneakers
4. A day of sleep
5. A grade of 3.0 and above for both my PhD subjects this term.

Although on second thought, the last one probably belongs to the first list.

Monday, June 30, 2014

My Awesome List

My best friend Kat challenged me to think of ten things I like about myself and then write them on my blog. If she had asked me to do this five months ago, I would have probably said that the only good about me is that I have the ability to avoid getting hit by a truck despite making strategic attempts to.

Now is a different story. Now, ten is just too easy.

Ten Reasons Why I'm Awesome:

1. I am a pro at job interviews
2. I give great advice
3. I am a fantastic listener
4. You can sit me beside ANYBODY and I'll be best friends with them after five minutes
5. You can trust me with any valuable or any amount of money and I will never get the urge to steal it. This must have something to do with my remote interest in material things
6. I am unbelievably good with children
7. I am a loyal friend
8. I am generous (to a fault, sometimes)
9. I have great legs even though I'm short
10. I'd just have my girl Iggy sing this one for me:



Aww yeah.