Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Deathly Hallows Part 2 in a Jumbled Nutshell

I've been finding it hard to be coherent these past few months, so this attempt at reviewing the movie that marked the end of my childhood is just a testament to how worse I've gotten.

Let's do it in bullet points to compensate for the chaos.
  •  If you watch the movie just once, you're going to miss a lot of things. One contributing factor would be your noisy and continuous crying. Or was that just me?
  •  Helena Bonham Carter portrayed Hermione so well you'd think Emma Watson just put on an HBC rubbersuit to do the scene. The Academy should consider an award for Best Impersonation.
  • Speaking of Oscars, Alan Rickman should get one. No, make it 8--- one for each HP movie because he was just that awesome. That breakdown in Godric's Hollow broke my heart into molecules.
  • They could've made Fred's death more canon. There are a lot of things I'd like to change in the books (I'm a Dramione shipper, after all), but Fred's last scene was one of those moments that you just HAD to stick with. The crying in the Great Hall right after was okay, but the impact was just not there anymore.
  • They said Ron and Hermione's kiss was THE MOST anticipated kiss in the series. Uhm. No. That wasn't even a kiss. For all we know it was just Rupert pressing his forehead on Emma's. We only got to see the back of his head, for crying out loud. Red hair and kissy noises a real kiss do not make.
  • Neville is hot. I never thought I would say it, but there it is.
  • Did you see Oliver Wood? Yeah, I didn't, too. But he was that bloke on the broomstick.
  • Jade Gordon, Tom Felton's real life gf, played Draco's wife, Astoria. The books never mentioned who Draco married so now we know. But it's not like it matters to me. I still pretend the Epilogue never happened.
  • LOL at Harry 19 years later. They made him look like he was 50.
  • More LOL at Ron and his beer belly.
  • Call me creepy but Scabior still makes me horny. Sure, they made him fall from a disintegrating bridge but he was still hot. I'd Arresto Momentum that ass and tap it good. Nick Moran, call me.
  • Daniel Radcliffe was being a git when he declined to wear green contacts for HP. He ruined the King's Cross scene. I don't understand how he agrees to take all of his clothes off in Broadway but not wear contacts that are PIVOTAL to the story that made him a millionaire. Diva.
  • Ron and Hermione still feels forced. Either that or the hardcore Harmony-shipping producers in the franchise had their way too much coughKlovescough.
  • Why did they make the last movie the shortest of the eight? It makes no sense. There should've been more fight scenes to highlight the extent of the sacrifice of everyone. I know it's Harry's story but come on, what's another five minutes of CGI asskicking?
  • Is it just me or the actor who played James Potter looks NOTHING like Daniel Radcliffe?
  • The kid who plays Albus Severus Potter is hot. Pedo alert!
  • Warwick Davis is better than half of the normal-sized actors out there. He was Flitwick. He was Griphook. Did you notice? No. Because he's good.

That's about all that I can remember. I might add some more points when I think of some but for now, I'm going to focus on reading FanFiction while in Post Potter Depression. See ya.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

This is not a Review. Yet.

I just came back from watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I am still processing the last two hours of my childhood so please bear with me. I'll come up with something soon.

In the meantime, I'd like to announce that I am on Twitter now:!/xxiiilxxxvi. Emma Watson made me do it. Well, not directly but you get my point. Anyhow, nobody really reads this so it's okay.

But just in case though, feel free to "follow" me (whatever that means) and I'll return the favor.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Transformers 3: The Dark Side of the Moon

Just like most summer action blockbusters slated to be released this year, Transformers 3 is  an ambitious, visually stimulating yet intellect-insulting roller coaster ride. Which is why hordes of people want to watch it. And I did, too. I just resigned from my job and I think I owe my brain 2 hours and 45 minutes of shut down time to recuperate.

The thing is though, my mind still refuses to shut up even if I want it to hibernate. So here are some of the few questions I came up with while rubbing my aching neck:

1. Where did the twin Autobots from the previous movie go? And where the hell are the new ones from?
2.  9 Autobots VS 340894280 Decepticons = Say what?
3. What happened to the other Decepticons in the other parts of the world? Did they get sucked back into Cybertron?
4. If the Decepticons said they needed human slaves, then why the hell did it look like they were killing everyone?
5. If Megatron was so strong in the beginning, then why did he let Sentinel bitch him around?
6. Is Optimus Prime contractually bound to give out the moral lessons before and after every film?
7. Why does Spielberg have to ruin every movie with a lame kiss at the end?
8. How could Rose Huntington-Whiteley run around without ruining her heels?
9. Can I turn back time and just waste my 300 bucks on a bag of Lays and 2 beers?