2013 Christmas Wishlist

The last time I did this was several years ago, and all the items on my wishlist were as rare as unicorn blood. I learned from that mistake, so now I compiled a list of things that I can actually get for myself. If you find me attractive/pitiful/convincing (or some other combination of the three), I will not stop you if you want to buy them for me. After all, nothing exemplifies the spirit of giving more than spending your hard-earned money on someone you randomly know on Facebook.

1. Tuxedo Bag from Little Emily Shop

I have been on a hoarding spree on this site lately and I am absolutely in love with everything they sell. I actually wanted the backpack they sold before, but when I checked, it's no longer available. So I want this instead because it's a Tuxedo Bag. Come on.

2. Girly dress from TNC Manila

I am currently revamping my wardrobe to include other colors that actually look like colors rather than shadows. I also feel like I should reiterate the fact that I am a girl once in a while. Hence, this. I don't know how long it's going to stay available because it is a steal for its price (350php) so if no one wants to give to the Jaja Foundation, I may have to steal from my nephew's birthday money to get this.

3. Wallet from anywhere

I don't use wallets like normal people do (i.e. I don't put cash in it and just grad pictures of my college friends), but I've always carried one around. My old wallet is on a semi-permanent hiatus because it has decided to shed its "skin" inside my bag, so this is of a more urgent request rather than me just being materialistic. Although I totally am.

4. A Sketchbook

Even though I have not touched my current one in weeks, I think I'm going to pick up the hobby soon again because holidays = really shitty internet connection. When I first started sketching, I picked the cheapest one because I never thought I would actually draw something remotely resembling a human being, but so far, I have created the likenesses of Gretchen Barretto and Epi Quizon so I might be on to something here.

5. Pencils and Shading Stumps

I heard you needed these to draw on the sketchbook.

6. Boots from Little Emily Shop

No justification required.

7. A Boyfriend

LOL. I'm just kidding. I know you can't give me a boyfriend.

Wait.

You can?

No.

Seriously?

Okay, leave your number in the comments section and I'll get back to you in three years.

Today on the Epic Side of YouTube

Presenting OnlyLeigh:

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Happy birthday, Ovaries

"Thor has a big magic hammer. And he knows how to swing it."

Thank you for that, Tom. Thank you for that.

Buzzfeed Day

My feels are acting up more so than usual but I do not want to talk about them. So instead have some Buzzfeed articles, random internet person who clicked on the wrong Agoramania blog:

1. Remember School of Rock? It's this really epic movie from 2003 starring Jack Black and a bunch of badass kids who form a rock and roll band. Well they just had their 10th year (10TH YEAR. I FEEL ANCIENT) reunion and I was pretty excited to see how the drummer boy looked because I had the biggest pedo crush on him. Then I see his pics and they prove that my taste in men is abhorrent as ever.

2. Ryan my-future-husband-and-father-of-my-children Gosling just turned 33. So here's a picture set to  commemorate his time on earth, also known as the Golden Age of Exploding Ovaries. You're welcome.

3. And because Addams Family values were responsible for the construction of my moral compass during adolescence (didja see what I did there? Didja see how I used the title of the movie to-- oh fuck it. Nvm.), have another picture set featuring the family I wished lived next door to our house. Don't get me wrong: our neighbors are absolute monsters, too, but they are definitely not as entertaining.

I hope I made your momentary loss of hand-eye coordination worthwhile, netizen. You can move on to the right website now.

Helping Myself

I have been depressed for years.

The feeling goes away and comes back every now and then, but certain events in my life brought it back to the fore.

I can't eat, sleep, or function at work. I keep crying at random times and places, when hearing songs or listening to silence. I have bad dreams whenever I manage to doze off. I can't write my thesis (which is due in a month, by the way).

And so I decided, with much hesitation and second-guessing, to seek help.  I'm now going through counseling.

I actually wanted to keep mum about the whole thing until it's over. But since this blog is read by approximately 0 people, I don't think posting about it will matter that much to others. To me, who has always written about anything and everything, it does, however.

A part of me hopes that people directly involved in my depression will reach out to me and make me feel better.  But alas, I think it will remain wishful thinking. I will carry on, though, because there is nothing left to do. Stopping is not an option.

To you who may have stumbled upon this entry and may feel the way I'm feeling, I suggest you don't keep it in. I tried it. Didn't work. Call somebody up. If you're too iffy about talking to shrinks, then talk to people you trust the most. If you don't have one of those, then leave me a message here. I may be a complete stranger, but somebody is always better than nobody.

Banned

And when I say I want to run a finger on your chest (right down the middle, leading to the dip of your navel), I am serious. I touch you like that in my dreams. And it's as casual as you draping an arm across my shoulders and hugging me to you. Close. Closer.

Do you remember that time that you backed up against me and stepped on my foot? You said sorry with a laugh. You said you couldn't see me because I was too small. I was. But you could see me.

And I saw you. I still do, after all this time.

Bucket List Update

2. Watch an Up Dharma Down gig live

Plus a picture with the amazing Armi.

I'm planning on pursuing another bucket list item next month. We'll see just which one. :)