Top 5 Grammatical Pet Peeves

Because I've worked as a trainer, I have probably witnessed the most brutal abuse to the English language speakers can commit. I haven't talked to George W. Bush yet, but you know what I mean.  Anyhow, I've decided to make a list of the things people say that make me want to hand them a grammar book.

1. With regards

Always. ALWAYS. When I worked at a call center, there was never a class that I did not correct trainees for saying this. It shouldn't be "with regards". It should either be "with regard to", "in regard to", or "as regards".  Stop with the extra 's', this isn't Parseltongue.

2. Cope up with

I think people confuse this with "catch up with", as in "I can't catch up with you"  so they end up using it in the same context. However, "cope" is only used with "with". So you don't "cope up with", you just "cope with" it. Capish?

3. Lose VS Loose

I have seen one too many quotes end up becoming unintentionally funny because of a mistake with these two words. Let's review. Lose with the single 'o' is a verb, the one with 'oo' is an adjective. So technically, you can't "loose" things or people. Unless you're talking about an entirely different thing that isn't exactly appropriate in this situation. When in doubt, Google it. If you're going to post an FB status or tweet, what's the harm in opening another browser and checking if that statement is going to make you look like a moron? A little effort goes a long way.

4. Pluralization of Mass Nouns

I almost fell out of my seat once when I heard a trainer say "Don't use jargons." I mean, really, how did you get hired? The problem with being a Filipino speaker is that you can't get pluralization out of your system. We tend to just add the rough equivalent of "mga" to anything when we feel like it. Furnitures, grammars, stuffs, advices, FEEDBACKS. Here's a tip. Try adding a number directly before that word and see if it makes you cringe (i.e. three furnitures, five advices). If the answer is yes, then remove the number and the 's' along with it. It will make me love you a little more.

5. Did + Past tense of the verb

"Did you bought that bag na from Louis Vuitton?" "Yah, I so love it kaya."

Maybe you should have spent all of that money to buy a new brain instead. I don't understand why people find it difficult to use the base form. It's not called a BASE form for nothing, you know. Did/Do/Does + the base form of the verb. C'mon people, you're always complaining about how hard English is but you actually make it harder. Say it with me now, "Did you BUY that bag from Louis Vuitton?" Now, didn't that sound less annoying? Well, the answer is no, but at least you're grammatically correct.

Transformers 3: The Dark Side of the Moon

Just like most summer action blockbusters slated to be released this year, Transformers 3 is  an ambitious, visually stimulating yet intellect-insulting roller coaster ride. Which is why hordes of people want to watch it. And I did, too. I just resigned from my job and I think I owe my brain 2 hours and 45 minutes of shut down time to recuperate.

The thing is though, my mind still refuses to shut up even if I want it to hibernate. So here are some of the few questions I came up with while rubbing my aching neck:

1. Where did the twin Autobots from the previous movie go? And where the hell are the new ones from?
2.  9 Autobots VS 340894280 Decepticons = Say what?
3. What happened to the other Decepticons in the other parts of the world? Did they get sucked back into Cybertron?
4. If the Decepticons said they needed human slaves, then why the hell did it look like they were killing everyone?
5. If Megatron was so strong in the beginning, then why did he let Sentinel bitch him around?
6. Is Optimus Prime contractually bound to give out the moral lessons before and after every film?
7. Why does Spielberg have to ruin every movie with a lame kiss at the end?
8. How could Rose Huntington-Whiteley run around without ruining her heels?
9. Can I turn back time and just waste my 300 bucks on a bag of Lays and 2 beers?