The Disadvantages of Having A Male Best Friend

1. Everyone thinks you're dating. Even the people you're actually dating.
2. "You look so good together!" comments. We look good. Period.
3. When meeting potential dates, he has to just straight up pretend he's gay coz if he doesn't, they'll ask, anyway. "Oh he's straight? But you're not gettin' jiggy? You sure he's straight?" Yes, Brian. Also, you're not getting a second date.
4. You know his mom and hence have become the unwilling conveyor of mommy reminders. "Tita says you should buy clothes that aren't black. Also sleep early."
5. Random people, like let's say a Turkish kebab vendor, suddenly think they have a say in your spousal choices. "Oh, where's your wife from? You're not married? Well, you should be." Unless you're paying for the destination wedding, no thanks.
6. When you say, "We're just friends," people complete the sentence with: "...but with benefits?" Oh I wish. I wish we had benefits. And by benefits, I mean health insurance and pension.
7. When you go out and want to meet people, one has to purposely wander away to increase both of your likelihood to succeed. It sucks because you wanna spend time with your best friend AND also maybe meet the love of your life.
8. When you casually mention that you've had sleepovers at his house, everyone gives you *that* look. Like you're both 15 and have no control over hormones.
9. Even after making a list like this, you will convince absolutely no one that you're not together.

Awake

I want to be your coffee cup. To have that bottom lip running across my angles. I know how careful you can be. You take things in painfully slow, always at the precipice of hesitation. It makes my breath hitch. My senses focus on that single second the hot liquid caresses the slick skin against your teeth. My imagination mesmerizes me.

You hold that cup with such considerate gentleness that makes me curious about how you hold other things not made of porcelain. Are you as guarded? Or do those fingers explore like a conqueror, mapping out entrances and exits, twists and territories Your knuckles look rough, and my thoughts head straight to impossibilities. I want to tell you about them. But not right now, when your eyes are closed, tasting. Not right now, when I can bore right through you with unabashed hunger and still keep it a secret.

Happy birthday, Ovaries

"Thor has a big magic hammer. And he knows how to swing it."

Thank you for that, Tom. Thank you for that.

Banned

And when I say I want to run a finger on your chest (right down the middle, leading to the dip of your navel), I am serious. I touch you like that in my dreams. And it's as casual as you draping an arm across my shoulders and hugging me to you. Close. Closer.

Do you remember that time that you backed up against me and stepped on my foot? You said sorry with a laugh. You said you couldn't see me because I was too small. I was. But you could see me.

And I saw you. I still do, after all this time.

Obsession

There is an incorrectness in the way I look at you. Inappropriate, yes, that's the better word. Perhaps it's because I do not hide the fact that I would like to bite your lower lip and let it bleed into my mouth, drip down my throat.

It is relentless, this wanting. But half of it is your fault because you're there and you leave me no other choice but to watch. To keep watching until I lock your gaze with mine, those pupils pinpricks in the bright afternoon sun.  I love it when I can see the real color of your eyes. Gray, tinged with questions.

Tomorrow, I will reach out to you, grab you by the neck, my two palms smearing the sweat on your skin onto the collar of your shirt as I pull you down with me. You will not say no. I will not let you.

My Benny

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

I have been obsessed with Gary Oldman since I started reading Hermione/Sirius fics a while ago (do not get me started on this because I can't even explain it myself). Watched Sid and Nancy and some other movies he was in. I can't seem to accept the fact that I have gotten a fondness for much older men.

But then there is Benedict Cumberbatch, the current Prince Charming in my daydreams. Since Sherlock, he has just done nothing but reduce me to a puddle of goo when I see him act. Did you know that I play the Sherlock episodes not to watch the show but just to hear him speak? I am intense, it's crazy.

Anyhow, after forever, I have downloaded Atonement coz I found out he's in it. Will watch it now even though it's way past my bedtime.