Happy birthday, Ovaries

"Thor has a big magic hammer. And he knows how to swing it."

Thank you for that, Tom. Thank you for that.

Random Review: Expendables 2

Literally got dragged into the cinema. It was free so *shrug*.

• If you're looking for a plot, don't watch this movie.
• If you're looking for well-rounded characters, don't watch this movie.
• If you're looking for guns and guts, watch this movie.
• If you're looking for killing sprees, watch this movie.
• If you're--- okay, you get my point.
• OMG LOOK IT'S CHUCK NORRIS.
• I don't know why, but every time I see Liam Hemsworth, I think of Miley Cyrus' teeth.
• Whenever a lead character in an action movie decides to stop being an action star, he dies. That's just the way life is.
• The dialogue was--- wait, was I about to talk about the dialogue? Sorry, I forgot that there wasn't any. Let's move along.
• It's funny how Dolph Lundgren's intellect was acknowledged in this movie. So I suppose it's now safe to say that yes, I've had a crush on him ever since I could remember. No judging.
• OMG LOOK IT'S CHUCK NORRIS.
• OMG LOOK IT'S CHUCK NORRIS AND THE KING COBRA JOKE.
• Jet Li sounds like his lungs are full of helium.
• Terry Crews, no matter how huge his biceps become, will always be that dude from White Chicks who sang A Thousand Miles. But I got mad respect for this brotha. Mad respect.
• NO SRSLY LOOK IT'S CHUCK NORRIS.
• Let us take this moment to acknowledge the epicness of Chuck Norris.
• While we're at it, let's take this other moment, too.
• And oh, right, Stallone's also in the movie.
• And uh Van Damme. Yeah.
• CHUCK NORRIS!!!!1!!!!1ELEVENTY111!!1!

Ezra Miller

Very seldom do we encounter actors who, at such a young age, display the gumption and depth of men who have lived twice their age. And when one does encounter such an actor, one cannot help but be awed.

I'm talking about Ezra Miller.  I don't think I'm as good a writer as to fully describe this person's brilliancy at portrayal, so you might just have to watch his movies to see for yourself.  Try "We Need to Talk about Kevin" on for size. Based on a novel, it's a story about how a mother copes with her mass-murdering son and the consequences of his actions. Needless to say, it is not a happy movie. You will leave it exhausted and seriously questioning the innate goodness of human nature. You will, however, have no doubt with regard to Miller's raw talent. It's there. Definitely.  And even though "Kevin" is not exactly a perky indie movie, I found myself watching an older work of his: "Another Happy Day", which, to no surprise, is ironically titled. In this film, he plays a drug addict, fresh out of rehab, and on his way to his stepbrother's wedding.  The rest of his family is so far from ideal that I actually went and hugged my mother after watching the movie. I told her I was grateful that her level of crazy does not go beyond Ellen Barkin's. She told me she did not know who Ellen Barkin was, to which I replied, "Good".

Ezra Miller is starting out dark. It seems his roles lean towards a skewed antithesis of the Oedipal complex. But he is starting off strong. I'd like to see what his next move would be. Because I know for a fact that even though his films make me want to cut my wrists, I am just as desperate to see him cut his. Figuratively and otherwise.