Drive

It is overwhelming, how much I want you to touch me. How much I’d like to feel your fingertips on the blade of my clothed shoulders, lightly scratching, beckoning my hairs to stand on end, soldiers at full attention. I try not to think of those same fingers roaming up and around and all the ways, but my mind is already there and every other place it could put you and your warmth. There is a tightness when I breathe, like you’ve reached inside my ribs and told my heart to stop. To slow down. To not fill my lungs with the smoky tang of your leather jacket. When I close my eyes, I am back in the semi-darkness of your car, with that song from somewhere, the dark roads opening up before us, the lights loudly blinking. But there is only you beside me and those hands on the wheel that I follow, enraptured. I wish they gripped something else. And as much as I could, I don’t look at your face. I don’t look because there is no end after that. So I subtly stare at your knee, my veins pounding on my throat, wanting to brush imaginary lint at the top of your thigh.

You make me feel like I have already touched you. It embarrasses me. I wonder if you could see right through my eyes and into the fire. There is thrumming in my skin and it hums at the undulating closeness between us. And although I have to count the days til I am back with you in the dim secrecy of those two seats, I anticipate, with parted lips, all that is possible.

Happy birthday, Ovaries

"Thor has a big magic hammer. And he knows how to swing it."

Thank you for that, Tom. Thank you for that.

Obsession

There is an incorrectness in the way I look at you. Inappropriate, yes, that's the better word. Perhaps it's because I do not hide the fact that I would like to bite your lower lip and let it bleed into my mouth, drip down my throat.

It is relentless, this wanting. But half of it is your fault because you're there and you leave me no other choice but to watch. To keep watching until I lock your gaze with mine, those pupils pinpricks in the bright afternoon sun.  I love it when I can see the real color of your eyes. Gray, tinged with questions.

Tomorrow, I will reach out to you, grab you by the neck, my two palms smearing the sweat on your skin onto the collar of your shirt as I pull you down with me. You will not say no. I will not let you.